John Garrison @[email protected]

i used to be [email protected]@masto.host. i was accused of things i didn't do. i want to move past it.

tbh i think the most character-defining moment in the whole comic is when the first video game that john can think of is crash bandicoot

CC my bosses in emails all you want; they give less of a shit than i do

every person who hasn't seen me in a while, when they see me again: "WOW you've gained weight!"

I hate the question "What do you want for Christmas?"

If I can think of something I want, I'll just get it.

If you can't think of something I want, just don't get me anything. I won't be insulted.

they're all great jorbs, brornt

customer agreement names that sound like a really weird split 7-inch: "YOLO/BOAT GLOVES"

i wish i were asleep

Penis envoy

Just took a really epic nap

porn music is always written in the key of G string

#catte

CW: cat eye contact

the weather is so nice today

this is basically the hottest thing i've ever seen (and yet, not lewd)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAQ7autd61g

It's a nice evening

a hearty thank you to the one person who voted and voted nah

should i finish blowing leaves before it gets too dark?

Are baby boomers killing the telegram industry?

If I'm sitting on the back porch, it must be time to complain about all the shit my neighbor's shitty palm trees drop in my back yard.

german

french