John Garrison @[email protected]

i used to be [email protected]@masto.host. i was accused of things i didn't do. i want to move past it.

the elephant of surprise

welp i'm awake

magneto is pretty attractive

squirreldock.club

Gnight

Elaine when Louie peeked!

i speak in metaphors like the people in the star trek TNG episode "darmok", except my metaphors are all from 1970s sitcoms

i feel like we often are too quick to get all up in people's faces about a social faux pas before making sure that they're not acting in sincere ignorance rather than indifference or malice

ignorance of socially-acceptable behavior IS an excuse, as long as you're not WILLFULLY ignorant and are willing to learn

if my coworkers knew all my fetishes...

https://www.askamanager.org/2020/01/my-employee-accidentally-posted-porn-to-the-company-group-chat-and-now-wants-to-resign.html

TIL there's a hello kitty restaurant

(the tweet reads "i'm at the hello kitty restaurant, fuck you")

https://twitter.com/laholiva/status/1217553043983650816

cuties on a timeline

if you're a leftist, you need to be constantly thinking about how russia is or may be driving leftist dialogue on the internet

regarding lady gaga's "bad romance," a friend asked me "shouldn't the line be 'you and *I* could write a bad romance?'" and i was like, that's the most boring question about lady gaga that i can possibly imagine.

standard grammar and usage is dull, uninteresting, and mostly derived from rules made up by stodgy old white dudes out of nowhere, so no, i'm not interested in the "difference" between lay and lie, or less and few, or nauseous and nauseated, or whether or not "irregardless" is a word, or your opinion on double negatives, or whether or not we're allowed to end sentences with prepositions.

in conclusion, strunk and white can fuck off.

i could go for a blowjob and a nap

i've been really horny lately........ and now is no exception

No fucking shit

It's fascinating to open my drawing app and wonder WTF I was doing the last time I opened it.

wanderlust is when you want to fuck a trip