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out of context 

"how many holes do i have to penetrate???"

dumb joke, smoking, slightly lewd 

the lone ranger gets captured by gang of criminals who are thrilled that they can finally get rid of their nemesis. the boss says "okay, ranger, you have any final requests?"

"how about just letting me smoke one last cigar?"

"okay, fine, go ahead."

the lone ranger pulls out a cigar, lights up, and smokes.

finally, the boss says, "that's enough, ranger, stand up and face your fate."

"not so fast, pardner. i've been using this cigar to send smoke signals to my partner tonto, and as we speak he's on his way with 100 men to rescue me."

just then, over the crest of a hill, tonto appears, riding his horse as fast as he can. and behind him follows... 100 naked women.

the lone ranger jumps up and shouts "GOD DAMMIT TONTO, I SAID 'POSSE'!"

sometimes, i just take a dick pic that's so good i can't bring myself to delete it

conversations from the next room 

"that's not a double entendre! that's just... an entendre!"

porn is so weirdly deeply progressive in some ways and so deeply regressive in others

if you wanna be my follower
you gotta at least have some toots
avatars don't last forever
but get one or get my boo-oot

fetishes 

i don't have a foot fetish, but i also don't NOT have a foot fetish

youtuber, incidental bdsm 

i noticed that in her latest youtube video, sarah z is wearing an "everyday wear" circle O collar/necklace which... nice 👍

i like saying "yes!" during sex, for one thing because it affirms continuous consent.

the queen's gambit 

beth: *returns to their room after playing chess in townes's room*

beth's mom: where have you been?

beth: playing chess. practicing.

beth's mom: that's all?

beth, with horny frustration: yes. that's all.

don't forget to spank that like button, flog that subscribe button, and, finally, facefuck that notification bell

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Kinky Business

kinky.business is a Mastodon instance for the kink community. Safe, sane, consensual.