bdsm vs abuse 

How to differentiate between bdsm practices and abuse?

It has been known in the past that abusers called themselves as Doms and Masters in an attempt to justify abusive practices.

Which is why terms like SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual), RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) or even VICSS (Voluntary, Informed, Consensual, Safe & Sane) came to be.

If you are not sure how bdsm clearly differs from abuse, read articles on websites such as the National Leather association (and their International Domestic Violence Project NLA IDVP).

But it always comes down to the very basic consent: either consent is given (and regularly confirmed), or it is not given.

nla-international.com/public--

bdsm vs abuse 

@Lord_Fine another key differentiator is whether consent is complete and *retractable*. A good sign of abuse is if there’s pressure (or worse) not to retract consent once given

bdsm vs abuse 

@ropetopus ookamich posted a French graphic (from a French group called Salopettes) about consent which I translated yesterday and plan to turn into a graphic later this week.

Their text about consent goes like this:

Consent
... must be given completely voluntary: being forced to consent following insistant whining, pressure, emotional blackmail and duress, is not consenting!

... must be obvious and stated as such: absence of refusal is not consent. When in doubt: ask!

... must be given by someone fully capable of consenting: someone seriously drunk, tired, inconcious or drugged can never be consenting!

... must be specific: consent is to be given at each stage and repeated every time.

... can be withdrawn at any moment, even during sexual activity!

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Kinky Business

kinky.business is a Mastodon instance for the kink community. Safe, sane, consensual.