Porn link 

Watching porn is the only activity made weirder by not masturbating at the same time

Apparently it's national nude day, which means there's finally a Summer Holiday worth caring about!

What's your personal orgasms in a day record? Mine's 5

I used to think it strange how I spent most of my weekends mostly naked, then I realized, I just like being naked

So I don't let very many people in on the whole nudist thing..not that I'm trying to hide it, but I don't bring it up everyday, you know? But ever since I told some friends of mine, one of them has brought it up every single time we've talked. Like kind of in a joking way, but a joke in which to make it a topic of conversation so he can ask questions without feeling weird about it. I think... I think I might have converted someone.

There's no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe! All right. So I start marchin' my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, "Carol! Carol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe." And when I open the door what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office! There...is...no...Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn ghost town.

At least I THINK that's an impression. There might just be two guys in the world who sound exactly alike, both in the entertainment business. It's a conspiracy Mac. How's that for stress? That right there is the mail. Now let's talk about the mail. Can we talk about the mail, please, Mac? I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK? "Pepe Silvia," this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia! Pepe Silvia! I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, "I gotta find this guy! I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise, he's never going to get it and he's going to keep coming back down here." So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, "Oh shit, buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper."

The problem is it's actually TOO good, and I just want to see him act out scenes from Always Sunny.

Anyone going to Portland World naked bike ride? You should swing by and say hi.

"What's your plans for the summer?"

"Masturbating and getting most of my food delivered so I don't have to get dressed and go outside, you?"

I am now, I have been, and fear I always will be, terrible at dirty talk.

@bedtimedrillsgt Boy is it. I'm just saying after 90 degrees Public nudity should be legal.

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