Pinned toot

Hey, yet another Tumblr exile here!

I'm a gay Millennial dude from the Midwestern US. I list my kinks/interests in my profile; expect niche porn gifs and gifs of pro wrestling, which I appreciate for the athleticism 【and nothing else】 😂

That aside, I'm into movies, video games, and art history/history in general. I'm pretentious af but friendly, I promise!

new pokemons 

firewoodchuck
untitled goose
big league pikachew
wolfram
jeff
armadillo with leprosy
hungry wombat
three raccoons in a trench coat
a gamer
stingray of light
roger rabbit
nibbler from futurama
biff from back to the future
crash bandicoot
garfield (the cat)
garfield (the mastodon poster)
garfield (the dead president)

kink joke 

In the land of the subs, the reluctant switch is king

please remember that saying "mailman" is increasingly an anachronistic term from a bygone era.

try to replace it in your personal lexicon with the much hornier "postal daddy."

👏cum👏 has 👏 no 👏 gender !!!

*David Attenborough hides in a bush, watching me take out my phone and start scrolling the timeline*

“Here we see the extremely rare Mastodon heterosexual. Like many before him, he’s wandered into a harsh environment to which his kind are ill suited, he must adapt quickly, or risk defederation. He’s cautious, he begins to type his first post, a reply to a woman with “men stay away’ in her bio: ‘Has anyone told you how beautiful you are when you smile?’ Oh, dear.”

once again i am reminded that i dislike podcasts as a format and wish that everyone who made them also published transcripts so i can read them instead

After the successes of Pokemon Go and more recently Pokemon Sleep, we at Nintendo are proud to announce our two newest products, Pokemon Eat Your Fucking Vegetables and Pokemon Maybe Drink Some Water Every Once In A While Huh?

pro wrestling, kinky shit, bondage-y imagery, blood 

In the mood for some good old-fashioned suffering tonight. Here are a couple of gifs of some impromptu maxillofacial surgery being done on both sides of the Irish Sea.

Ricky Combat vs. the Executioner; CCW Riot 2; 2015

Sean Only vs. Boris Koslov; Point at the Sign; RISE; 2018

TODAY ON THE MAGIC SCHOOLBUS
Miss Frizzle: "today class we will be learning about socio-economics"

Roger: why does your dress say 'seize the means of the production from the bourgeoisie classes' ?"

Miss Frizzle: "well class, let's all get on the bus and find out!"

Arnold: "I knew I should have maintained the capitalist mode of production today."

Show thread

Shout-out to the Chicago leather daddy who listed "superheroes in peril" as an interest on his Scruff profile.

Sir, you are an inspiration.

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Kinky Business

kinky.business is a Mastodon instance for the kink community. Safe, sane, consensual.