@knoeticranger oh an let’s not forget lightning. Always fun when hanging onto a steel pole driven into the dirt. 🤬

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Sitting in the farm truck up on top of our highest ridge. I’ve been trying like hell to wire in a new microbeam tower for internet. Mother Nature: hahahahahha! Here’s an inch of rain in five minutes and 40mph winds!

Fuck....

#2312 "mbmbam" 

Hello and welcome to Millibar Millibarn Attometer, an advice show for the Planck era.
xkcd.com/2312/

#2309 "X" 

The worst is when you run out of monospaced fonts and have to use variable-width variables.
xkcd.com/2309/

#2275 "Coronavirus Name" 

It's important to keep the spider from touching your face.
xkcd.com/2275/

I spent too much time on FB and Birdsite over the last two days, and now I feel like choking the shit out of someone. Possibly myself. 😡

Hi! I’m Esme, I’m 24 years old and I suck at intros. All I can say is that I’m friendly, I like chatting and I really want to engage and connect with people here. To get inspiration, knowledge, fun, whatever.

Inside the kink spectrum I’d define myself as gentle/nurturing sub but I can switch depending on my mood. I like to say that I’m basically a romantic slut 🖤

I never wanted to get my PhD, but was content with a Masters. Now, every time some new post doc dweeb insists on being called ‘Doctor’, I insist they call me ‘Master’. Oh the fun that starts. 😈

kink, introduction 

I finally created that /#bdsm themed side account here on mastodon. I'm a lavender loving femme person, non-binary af, and I'll post about my kinks on this account.

I took a break from the scene for more than three years, so I'll probably read more on here than I post about stuff.

So far I figured out that I'm into stuff like , being a , /#shibari, role-playing (as in kink, DnD and computer RPGs lmao), , as well as .

I kinda thing the results of my BDSM test is a good overview on what content to expect from me:

100% Brat tamer
100% Switch
100% Rigger
100% Non-monogamist
99% Rope bunny
98% Brat
98% Degradee
98% Sadist
96% Degrader
96% Daddy/Mommy
94% Experimentalist

In my more vanilla life I write software for a living, am a geek, read tons of books, am playing and do a lot of mediocre art such as and playing the .

You're welcome to follow!

#2267 "Blockchain" 

Blockchains are like grappling hooks, in that it's extremely cool when you encounter a problem for which they're the right solution, but it happens way too rarely in real life.
xkcd.com/2267/

Is it just me, or is your productivity shot for the day because you know you’ve got an eager sub for the evening and it’s all you can think about?

Yoga pants are the greatest invention since breathing.

Naughty anime 

I just had an animegasm. 😳 (no idea the author, but hell, yes!)

Kinda shitty day today. Fuck beer...Scotch, you’re my buddy tonight.

Sitting here drinking a scotch ale and mindlessly shoveling malted milks balls. Yep. Typical Easter.

@knoeticranger Surveys like this are too easy to skew, but I tried to be as accurate as I could, given most of the questions were leading. It’s not wrong in most cases where I self-identify. I think I’m a bit more switchy, and I’m more a “brat-tamer” than that.

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Hmmm....

== Results from bdsmtest.org ==
100% Rigger
97% Sadist
96% Voyeur
93% Exhibitionist
92% Dominant
75% Experimentalist
69% Primal (Hunter)
66% Non-monogamist
64% Masochist
55% Degrader
52% Daddy/Mommy
48% Master/Mistress
47% Vanilla
36% Rope bunny
36% Brat tamer
18% Primal (Prey)
11% Switch
9% Submissive
4% Ageplayer
3% Boy/Girl
2% Brat
1% Owner
0% Slave
0% Degradee
0% Pet

That’s a paddlin’ 

Picked up this beauty at the local shop. I have the tools to make them myself, but this is far superior to my skill, and it supports our local artisan. Good oak. Cut from local trees. All edges well rounded, and super smooth. Very sting-y and thud-y! Really looking forward to using it this weekend!

Mornin’ fuckers. And I mean that in the most encouraging manner possible.

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Kinky Business

kinky.business is a Mastodon instance for the kink community. Safe, sane, consensual.