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No, I can't sext right now, friend, I'm watching hockey!

(it's a commercial right now)

I am pleased to report that my cleavage did not get sunburned yesterday. Alas, I have no-one here to celebrate that fact with me.

The local, absolutely incredible sex shop is donating all of its online proceeds from sales on May 9th to a Black mother who is trying to become a homeowner.

Direct support of a Black woman through the purchase of awesome sex toys? Possibly the best combo ever.

smittenkittenonline.com/blogs/

The local, absolutely incredible sex shop is donating all of its online proceeds from sales on May 9th to a Black mother who is trying to become a homeowner.

Direct support of a Black woman through the purchase of awesome sex toys? Possibly the best combo ever.

smittenkittenonline.com/blogs/

Let's just pretend this isn't about what it's actually about so we can enjoy it together.

Every time I hear "The Edge of Glory" by Lady Gaga, I am reminded of the time I was playing a jackbox game of superheroes and the prompt was "the edge" so I named mine the same as the song and drew a bight pink rabbit-style vibe. :vibe:

Solo sex 

Like if I'm listening to an audiobook while washing the dishes and a super steamy sex scene gets started, I can simply put down the scrub brush and head to the bedroom.

Like that.

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Solo sex 

Since I don't have a job, when I get super horny in the middle of the day I have the freedom to follow that vibe. (see what I did there?)

hooray hooray, the First of May! outdoor f—

[checks weather]

hooray hooray, the First of June! the First of May was much too soon!

if the "bad horse" chorus from "dr horrible's sing-a-long blog" sang my water bill 

your bill
your bill
your bill
your bill!

you've used a lot of water
in your house of late
though you never wash the dishes
or bathe before a date!

you need to pay up soon
or we might raise your rates
cold hard cash, an EFT
a money order's good with me

your bill
your bill
your bill
pay up!

the local county water works
is watching so beware
if you pay a second late
there'll be fees, we swear!

so make the water flow now
we know you need it there

go get a stamp
don't be a jerk
send us the dough!
--the water works

(inspired by @sxsdv1 reminding me of "bad horse" lol)

we're seeing daddy levels at about 46%

(46%) ■■■■□□□□□□

Solo sex 

I am appreciative that my body is very good at multiple orgasms over a short period of time.

otoh it makes it super difficult to do anything afterwards except sprawl naked on the bed and wait for my bones to re solidify and when I'm on my own nobody can bring me water when I forgot to plan ahead

Vibrators 

Cords: limit locations and can get tangly

Batteries: can run out

I miss my service top.

At least when I'm feeling like shit I can console myself with the fact that I have a great rack.

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It is a tragedy that neither time I lived with a lover did they want to have sex as often as I did. All of the convenience of a partner *right there* and I was unable to avail myself as often as I would have liked.

Before I move in with someone again we are going to have a frank discussion about our relative priorities when it comes to sex or computer games to make sure we're compatible.

vaid 2 b bi but not equally attracted to every gender

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