On Comment Etiquette 

Source: fetlife.com/users/5444515/post

Edit: Several folks have reached out to ask if they can link to this as a resource. Please feel very free to do so, no individual request required.

I like sharing my work online, but I want to stop cringing at the comments that people (and let's be honest, they're mostly men) leave behind. I receive responses that I believe are often well meaning to my photos that I really don't enjoy, and it occurs to me that people sometimes don't realize what they're doing when they say shit like "you should be on your knees like that in front of me, baby" or "I just want to kiss you from neck dwon [sic] and play with your clit".

Why do these comments feel gross?

Because they're a projection of your sexuality onto me. I want to share a photo of something that actually happened and has a whole context of its own, which you erase in doing that.

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On Comment Etiquette 

A good comment structure might be "Very hot! That's a badass bruise!" or "Sexy! Thanks for sharing!" or "This is gorgeous! I think your body is incredible, and I love your legs." These comments are specific and even pretty intimate, but they don't project your sexuality onto my image, which means the risk of crossing a boundary and sounding creepy is much lower.

I've had wonderful experiences of sharing this perspective with people and having them rethink the way they comment on photos. I believe those people will go on to form better connections with content creators and potential play partners because they're considering what's happening outside their own heads.

On Comment Etiquette 

@squeedoodle this is something that i think i really failed to understand when i first came to the fediverse (several accounts ago at this point). i hope i've learned since then. it's something i think about a lot since i obviously follow a lot very sexually open people here, and i try my best to stay within their comfort level, and ask if i'm afraid i might have failed at that or might be failing.

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