BDSM, spanking, punishment, humiliation (1/3) 

I think being lectured for what I did while I'm being spanked is a vital component to my submissive headspace. It makes me contrite and forces me to focus on my actions and their consequences.

Even if the Top has to fabricate my crimes (which can be just as if not more fun than punishments for naughtiness I'm actually guilty of, if played right), it's important to me that heavy pain, particularly spanking, be couched in the context of punishment for a misbehavior. To me, that feels diminutive. Children and pets get punished for being naughty. I'm a thirty year old adult and autonomous person, and I demand the dignity that's supposed to come with that. To have that denied feels intoxicatingly humiliating, which actively fuels my lust and pain tolerance.

BDSM, spanking, punishment, humiliation (2/3) 

So not only do I think the stern lecture given during the punishment is important to getting me in a proper headspace, but I also think just as important is the gentle but insistent aftertalk. It takes place right before, transitioning into, and sometimes even during aftercare, and it concerns making sure I understand what I did and why it was wrong.

There is an emphasis on concern for my well being and continuing development (my eternal struggle as a brat to be Good Girl), as these are again things that solidify my place as the childish one, in need of a firm guiding hand, while also making me feel treasured and protected.

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BDSM, spanking, punishment, humiliation (3/3) 

The humiliation is there, but the care really comes through. There's an aspect of teasing in getting me to stand in front of my punisher, clutching my sore bottom, to state clearly what it was I did, explain why it was naughty, and promise not to do it again (that goes double if I'm having to admit to something I didn't really do). But again, by removing the more stern edge that was in the lecture during the spanking itself, I am reassured that, provided I demonstrate I've learned my lesson, then all is forgiven and they're ready to be soft and affectionate again (though maybe still a liiiiittle teasing... and i mean nipple pinching isn't punishment, that's just... friendly affection, right?).

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