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#LowerYourSelf

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Replied to 819 | it/its | 🔞

#LowerYourSelf Weekly Reflections — Week 8, The Ordeal (predicament-based pain play, and broadly, BDSM, slave training, and kink/fetish themes)

Week 8: The Ordeal

Replied to JT

sub training challenge, week 6: Kneeling ritual (catchup)

We'll be skipping this week's challenge because we already have a daily kneeling ritual that works for us. See above.

When asked about this week's task, my wife said she has no interest in "leaving me hanging" on the floor. Our kneeling is a moment of connection between us. If she wanted to exercise her power dynamic, she'd have me do something sexual instead.

Replied to 819 | it/its | 🔞

#LowerYourSelf Weekly Reflections — Week 7, Rituals pt 3; Self-Care (specifically, health, and broadly, slave training, BDSM, kink/fetish themes)

Week 7: Rituals (pt. 3) — Self-Care

sub training challenge, week 5: Rituals (catchup)

This week's rituals focus on body marking and writing. You bear a submissive mark to reinforce your self identity and how you present yourself to others. The idea is to prepare for wearing a permanent collar.

This one I have no problem with. I wear a permanent collar, and I think drawing on sharpie for a month is good practice for any permanent change.

My collar has a symbol that we both identify as belonging to my wife. For the next week she wants to draw that symbol on me as well. I'll be wearing it under clothes because I'm not out.

Pro tip: If you're going to permanently adorn yourself with some icon, make sure that icon doesn't have sharp edges. I can't tell you the number of times I've accidentally gauged myself with the symbol since I've been permanently collared.

introduction post; discussion of bdsm, submission, and consensual slave training

@819 hi 819, how is it doing in its training this week?

Can you tell me more about this training #loweryourself. I feel a part of me envies being on the path you (it) (not sure which is correct?) are on.

I am more of a bigendered (both male and female) #submissive NB person, still trying to find my self and my way.

Does your Dom like #ropebondage, or other kinks as part of your training? I would likely be a bit of a rope bunny if I was in a relationship that allowed that.

sub training challenge, week 4: Depravity (catchup)

"Before anything else, if a subject isn't willing to engage with kink, I'm not going to be interested in owning them... A slave must be willing to <list>."

I'm having trouble reading this as anything other than "you must be this kinky to ride." That's fine as a personal preference, but there's an implication that those who aren't X kinky aren't... serious?

If so, fuck that noise. You can have D/s without the rest of BDSM. We regularly do mental edge play with hypnosis where my memory/identity are wiped, but we've never done pain, punishment, or humiliation.

Propaganda like this prevented us from engaging with the community for 20 years. We didn't think we were "serious" enough kinksters. Cut off from a community that sounded hostile, we had to re-learn many lessons ourselves.

If you're following this course and you think you're not kinky enough: don't worry. You are still one of us.

sub training challenge, week 3: Service (catchup)

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to do these. I love the idea of weekly prompts, but these prompts reek of "one twue way" syndrome and it's beginning to irk me.

I have complicated feelings about service. I love to make people happy, and I love seeing the effect of my work on the lives of those around me. I love being complemented and praised for doing a good job.

On the flip side, as soon as service is expected of me, demanded from me, or taken for granted, I really hate it. In that scenario, there is no pleasure. Instead, there is only anxiety, resentment, and the fear of failure.

Service is a gift and I need to be able to give it freely. As soon as it becomes an obligation the joy in it is ruined for me.

Replied to 819 | it/its | 🔞

#LowerYourSelf Weekly Reflections — Week 6, Rituals pt 2 (slave training, BDSM, kink/fetish themes)

Week 6: Rituals (pt. 2)

sub training challenge, week 2: Obedience (catchup)

This week came with a task to sit still for 10 minutes because the creator said so-- if I'm a sub "my place is to obey, not question."

My visceral reaction was "Fuck off." I'm /extremely/ anti-authoritarian. I'll eat shit if it means an authoritarian has to smell my breath. I detest hierarchies with a burning passion. Tell me that "my place is to obey, not question" and I'm going to do nothing but question and undermine you.

How does this affect our TPE? I live with constant hypnotic bondage over my actions, thoughts, and memories. I trust my partner to use that power responsibly for both of our pleasure. Otherwise we're equals.

"Supposed to" and "Should" are red flags. Never do something just because a "sub should do X." That's how you destroy boundaries and end up unhappy or unsafe. BDSM is customizable to you.

If more prompts have tasks, I may have to abandon this.

slave training challenge, week 1: Transparency (catchup)

Working on the 52-weeks of slave training challenge with @819 . I'm behind, so I need to catch up. First week is Transparency.

Transparency is like consent. It's essential for a healthy relationship. Not having it is a red flag at best and immoral/illegal at worst. It's essential for both vanilla and kinky relationships, but comes up sooner in kink contexts because of the darker corners we explore.

It's also hot. I love the idea of not having privacy in my thoughts, of being that vulnerable.

I have a transparency trigger. When my wife says a phrase, I look into her eyes and am captured there until she physically pushes my head away. My mind goes blank, and I answer any questions immediately without shame and without any filters.

It's hot as hell, and it takes "use your words" to a whole new level. There's no room to be shy or bashful when she turns on that power.

1/

Replied to 819 | it/its | 🔞

#LowerYourSelf Weekly Reflections — Week 5, Rituals pt 1 (slave training, BDSM, kink/fetish themes)

Week 5: Rituals (pt. 1)

introduction post; discussion of bdsm, submission, and consensual slave training

@lockedinchastity it's over at Ashley Lowe's Twitter account — twitter.com/AshleyLoweUK, look for the tag for all the related tweets!

#LowerYourSelf Weekly Reflections (slave training, BDSM, kink/fetish themes)

Week 1: Transparency (Communication)

introduction post; discussion of bdsm, submission, and consensual slave training

:18_plus:

819 (eight-one-nine; it/its) is a genderless, lifestyle submissive working towards its dream of being an owned slave in a 24/7 TPE dynamic.

it is only permitted to speak about itself in the third person.

it loves following orders, and having restrictions placed on its behaviour.

Throughout 2023, it is completing the 52-week slave training course, and is expected to share weekly reflections on the course and its learnings here.

it has been orgasm-free since 1/1/2022.

it also enjoys , , , being a , and more.

819 welcomes questions, encouragement, and teasing!

819 lives and works on Wurundjeri country, and pays respects to First Nations people.

:transgender_flag: :asexual_flag: :agender_flag:

#819